The Mr. Hobby Lobby Decision: The Supreme Court’s Super-Secret Agenda (Maybe)

You probably expect me to rant about the anti-woman, anti-choice, stupid, short sighted, overstepping, lame-ass, audacious, and downright sexist decision made by the  Supremes in the Mr. Hobby Lobby case.


And you would be totally right in thinking I could rant my pants off about it, but I’m here for another, altogether different rant. . .

What the fuck is up with businesses being expected to provide health care insurance for their employees? I’m serious – why on earth should a business provide insurance at all? Whether or not their employees have health insurance is none of their business – professionally or personally. As a small business owner, I cannot see why I should be required provide it to my employees – it has nothing to do with my business or their work.

I know I sound like a Libertarian (props to you, my Lib pals), but I’d like you to think about this for a minute – objectively. Businesses started providing health insurance as an extra benefit to their employees. Benefits are like bribes and dessert – awesome and unnecessary. A healthy workforce works harder and better and often the insurance was a total necessity because of the dangerous nature of the work. Somehow this benefit turned into a worker’s right, no matter what the work, and that’s where it all falls apart for me.

Do you consider good health and access to healthcare a universal human right? Do you believe our children have the right to free public education? Me too. I think this healthcare thing comes under the same umbrella and should be provided by the same people who bring you public schools, highways, bank regulation and wars – our less-than-stellar government.

Which brings me to the super-secret agenda: the Supremes think so too. This shitty Mr. Hobby Lobby decision is the first step to building a case for socialized medicine in the US. By codifying a business’s right to have an opinion, religion and values (hence my use of “Mr.” if you didn’t make that connection) that are at odds with the good of the masses, it paves the way for unbiased, opinion free healthcare for all of us.

Frankly, I think Mr. Hobby Lobby can and should do whatever he likes with the benefit they are required to provide. They shouldn’t be forced to provide it anyway and sadly, their “win” isn’t a win at all considering the mess it may cause. Unless, of course, I’m right and the Supremes have a larger, smarter person in mind to provide health insurance – Uncle Sam. I’m not holding my breath. 


Posted in Abortion, Birth Control, Values | Tagged , , ,

Dear Pubic Hair…

Dear Pubic Hair:

Hey! It seems like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you – 15 years? Longer? It’s funny – I can’t really remember the last time I saw you. It’s seems so crazy because you were once so much a part of basic nudity and sex.

I feel bad that we haven’t really connected in so long – what happened? I keep making up these stories about how hard it is for you to stand up for yourself when some crazed razor or waxer attacks you without even considering your feelings. Do they even ask if you want to be so rudely yanked out? Are you able to fight for your right to act as a directional sign for penetration?

I hajoyofsex220ve such fond (and a wee bit traumatic) memories of the splash you made in the Joy Of Sex. I had no idea people could be so hairy! It makes me laugh every time I think of all that 70‘s style bush and armpit hair and how amazed I was at those illustrations.

Now I’m amazed because kids these days never see pubic hair. Their moms are waxed down to landing strips or nothing, the women they inevitably see in porn are in the same state and teen girls are taking this lack of fur to heart, so they too, wax it all off.

I keep wondering what are girls learning when they see their moms without their god-given fur? Do they think there is something wrong with them when they start to grow their own? What kind of full body love example are moms setting when they zip this part of their bodies clean away?

Maybe the thing is that you’ve forgotten your what your purpose in life is. Have you? I haven’t. Seriously, we need you. The world needs more pubic hair. You are so amazing – colorful, soft, inviting. You make vaginas safer, penises stand prouder and put the “P” in pheromones.

madonna22f-1-webDon’t people remember the fact that you are one of the biggest signs that a person’s body is no longer a kid’s body? I have no idea why anyone other than a pedophile would want to fool around with a woman who’s cooch looks like a toddler’s. I’m trying to come up with the best word ever to describe the feeling I have when I think about this and just can’t do it. “Ick” doesn’t quite do the trick.

Sweet Pubes, it would be so cool to see you make a huge come back – kind of like the hipster beards young men are sporting these days. But my guess is that until porn decides pubic hair is “in” again, women will be turning their vulvas into naked mole rats and I will have to revisit The Joy Of Sex if I want remember the good old, pube-postive days.

In love and solidarity,


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Uncle Creepy: How To Spot a Pedophile

The Sandusky verdict prompts me to remind you it’s an adult’s responsibility to protect children. This means if you are concerned about an adult in your child’s life, please do something about it, rather than putting your head in the sand. Contact Stop It Now! for help if you have questions about an adult’s behavior.

Here are some things to watch out for with regard to adult behaviors that could be “red flags.” Share this info with your kids – they need to be empowered to tell you if an adult or older kid is doing something that makes them feel uncomfortable.

These are just suggestions and won’t actually “diagnose” a pedophile but will give you guidelines if you are worried. And remember, 93% of the time, the person is known to the family.

1) Are they more interested in hanging out with kids than adults?

2) Do they have loose boundaries and insist on tickling, wrestling, hugging and touching kids even when the child has asked them to stop? Do they have loose emotional boundaries as well?

3) Do they hang with kids and make their home very welcome to kids (even though they don’t have any of their own)? Do they have all the latest and greatest toys and video games?

4) Do they seem “too good to be true”, i.e. frequently babysits different children for free; takes children on special outings alone; buys children gifts or gives them money for no apparent reason?

5) Is their contact with a child outside of their job description/role? i.e. Coach giving rides home, teacher offering special tutoring sessions out of class/school, texting “just to say hi”,  school music teacher offering private lessons, etc.

6) Takes the child into their confidence by sharing secrets or adult information? Do they talk to children about sex?

7) Do they view child pornography?

8) Do they give you an uncomfortable our “uh-oh” feeling when you see them interact with kids?

9) Do they photograph children “for fun”?

10) Did they sexually abuse or molest you when you were a child?

11) Are they a pillar of the community? Charming, attractive, nice, friendly and very  concerned with the plight of children in your community?

12) Do they buy special gifts for your child, praise them, tell you how amazing and special your child is?

13) Do they volunteer and/or work with children at school, church or in community organizations?

14) Do they seem preoccupied with your child?

If the adult is a problem, most likely there will be more than one thing on this list. Just because someone is actively involved in a youth ministry, it doesn’t mean they are a problem. But if they are involved in the youth ministry AND shower your child with praise and gifts, I’d be on alert.

Learn more here:

Prevention tips – your kids need to know how to protect themselves:




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When The Kids Walk In On You!

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS! How fabulous that you managed to make time for some loving.

Secondly, BUMMER! Nothing spoils the mood like the pitter-patter of tiny feet, gasps, and commentary along the line of “What the heck are you two doing?!”

Here’s how to handle it.

Prevention! Right now, today, institute a “knock first” policy. This means if a door is closed the family rule is you “knock first” and get permission to enter.

Get a lock put on your door.

Script! Already know what you’re going to say before you say it! Whoever is most able to speak at the time can say, calmly, “Hi! We’re having a private moment – can you please wait outside the door for a minute, one of us will be right out.”

Afterwards! Now for the damage control (if there is any to be done).

3 – 7 years old:
“Hey, I’m so sorry you walked in on us when we were having some private time. It probably looked a little weird and maybe a little scary, but we we’re just fine. In the future, you really need to knock before you come into our room. Thanks!”

8 years old and up:
“Hey – I’m so sorry you walked in on us while we were making love and having some private time. If you felt uncomfortable, that’s totally normal. We did too, because making love is private and we were surprised to see you. Sex can look and sound a little weird so I’m sorry if you were upset or scared.”

“In the future, please knock first before you come into our room. We’ll do the same for you.”

“Do you have any questions?”

Good luck with the last one – be honest and answer as simply as possible. They really don’t need to know the details of why daddy likes to be tied up or why you have that cool silver rocket ship. :)

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Sexualized Girls – Laura Ingalls Style

The setting: The Little House on the Prairie.

The scenario: Pa Ingalls is playing The Arkansas Traveler on the fiddle, while, Ma, Laura, Mary and baby Carrie are listening as the sun sets on a long day.

The dance moves: Laura sweetly gyrates her hips and bends forward to show the world her sexy 8 year old booty and Mary shimmies and shakes her 10 year old breast buds all around, both flaunting their bodies for all they’ve got.

Ma looks on, bemused as she watches her two big girls dancing their hearts out. She hears a voice inside of her say, “Hm. This behavior seems a bit mature for their ages. I wonder if it’s okay for them to be dancing like bar girls? Oh, well, it must be, everyone else is doing it. What harm can it do?”


Posted in Sexualization, Tweens | Tagged , ,

Kids Who Drink Alcohol are More Likely to Have Sex

As you know, alcohol consumption = lowered inhibition = sex . Or as my witty British friend once said, “Gin is a panty dropper.” Except for me. I hate it.

Talking to kids about the relationship between drinking and sex is super-duper important. You know drinking makes sex more likely, so talk about it when you talk to your kids about sex.

Please don’t bother to think “not my kid” or “she’s got a good head on her shoulders” because you know that your parents thought the same thing about you.  My guess is they were, well, wrong.

Kathy Slattengren of Priceless Parenting has a great blog on this very topic. Check it out and join me on April 21 as I torture Milo, once again, with seemingly useless information for an 11 year old boy. :)

Posted in Alcohol and drugs, Talking to kids about sex, Teens | Tagged , , ,

Is puberty starting earlier?

The short answer is yes. The long answer is yes as well.

Remember! Girls start puberty before their periods start!

Here’s what we know and be sure to read this awesome article from the NY Times:

The most legitimate reason for the earlier onset in girls is because they are fatter (have more fat, not poundage) and/or healthier and therefore ready to make babies sooner.

Boys are starting puberty sooner too and my guess is that it’s for the same reasons – fatter = healthier = ready to breed.

Stress may be a big contributing factor to early puberty.

We’re seeing puberty in typically developing girls start as young as 8. The average age seems to be about 9 or 10.

Boys start puberty at about 11 as opposed to 13 or so which was the standard go-to age.

The study that told us girls have periods at 12 or 13 was flawed. It was done on a bunch of white, middle class girls from the same neck of the woods.

The “real” age girls start periods is “12 years old, plus or minus 3 years.” Not helpful, really. It seems to be most girls start around age 11. If you daughter is your bio kid, then when you started is about when she’ll start.

Boys choirs are suffering because their sopranos’ voices are changing by 13 instead of 15.

Talk to them sooner than you think – age 8 – about puberty. If they aren’t quite there yet, one of their classmates is sure to be.



Posted in Puberty, Talking to kids about sex, Tweens | Tagged , , | 2 Comments